An Attitude of Gratitude
When I was teaching high school, I was on the Character Education committee. For those who think public schools are secular-humanist havens of godlessness, I can tell you that, at my school at least, most of the teachers took the development of good people as seriously as we took the development of educated people.
One of the activities we did most years about this time was to have a door-decorating contest on the theme of gratitude. Students would plan the design, which ranged from incredibly beautiful designs from the art department to Spanish and French language doors from the foreign language students to an undersea depiction of sharks and tiny fishes one year from the oceanography class. (The fish were thankful that the shark didn’t eat them.)
Most of the doors, whatever their design, provided a way for individual students to express the most important things for which they were grateful. As you can imagine, high school students say they want and are grateful for material things when they are speaking in the class. However, when they really give it some thought and have to write it, they hold dearest and are grateful for the same things the rest of us are: family, friends, faith and faith community, the basics survival needs like home, food, good health. A few might write jobs or getting into the college they wanted, but I imagine that’s pretty common, too. It was surprising to see how many were grateful for an opportunity to serve others.
What strikes me about this is that, for all our differences, people end up valuing pretty much the same things across generations, across cultures, and across time. If at heart, we all care about the same things, why do we feel so alone? Why can’t we get along with each other? Why do we struggle and ruin our health and relationships for material things when health and relationships are what we care about most?
It doesn’t make sense.
My challenge to you during this season of hustle and bustle, of family and friends, of giving and receiving, is to show your gratitude. Like the students, write at least one thing for which you are grateful each day. Do it in your journal, on a calendar, on Post-it notes. Decorate your own door if you wish. The place you write isn’t so important as to become conscious each day of the unexpected blessings you have in your life. Then, when New Year’s Eve rolls around, take your list out and see that you have had a good year, in spite of the problems you also surely faced. See that being wealthy isn’t so much about how much you spent on Christmas but about how much you gave of yourself and how much you accepted from others. See that even if you are alone during the holidays, Nature provides you with a plethora of gifts in this late fall and early winter. See that learning to be vulnerable enough to let the beauty and love affect you is what makes life worth living.
It’s a matter of attitude.
Clearing Clutter, Part 1: Closets & Bedroom
According to Feng Shui expert, Stephanie Roberts, clutter in our homes can mean we are likely disordered in our inner landscape as well. I admit that I have a hard time with clutter. I am a "saver" (or pack-rat, if you prefer), and I love my books more than anything else I own.
But with the seasons changing and winter clothes to pull or while putting away the summer ones, it just seems like a good time to get a handle on my mess. It won't be long until the holidays are on us, and there will be guests to entertain. I know I don't want them to see the clutter. But how am I going to change from "drop it and flop it" to a home that boasts easy movement and free-flowing energy?
Here are some tips that have helped me clean up and make space. We'll start with the closets and bedroom this month and move to other parts of the house next month.
- Start with the closets and bedroom drawers. The change of the seasons makes this the ideal place to start. The closets of a room represent the subconscious, the stuff we don't recognize or that is hidden. Cull the old clothes you haven't dieted back into and donate them to charity. Lots of charities need coats, sweaters, and gloves this time of year, and they may do someone else some real good. Next, check the elastic in hosiery and lingerie, and toss any that won't stay up. Then, get rid of those cute but killer shoes. No matter how great they look, you make a poor impression limping. Final guideline: if you haven't worn in in the past two winters, you don't need it. Keeping old clothes may mean you are too attached to the past. Let it go.
- Next, work on the bedroom. The bedroom represents intimacy and renewal, privacy and power. If you are a cave dweller, you may be unconsciously craving the privacy of your own space. If you spend most nights on the sofa (avoiding the bedroom), you may need to look at the reasons why you are avoiding the one place in the house that should signify rest and relaxation. Author Kathryn Robyn suggests in Spiritual M Housecleaning that cave dwellers may be depressed. She continues, "Maybe they haven't released their childhood soul into the rest of the house, or maybe they're keeping close tabs on the tether between body and soul" (Robyn 128). Likewise, bedroom-phobics may be avoiding memories of abuse or other violence that took place in childhood bedrooms. Making the bedroom that you have now your haven can help face those fears and memories so that healing can occur.
- Unless you have junk shoved under the bed, a good cleaning is probably what your bedroom needs most. (Junk under the bed keeps the energy from flowing. If you have insomnia, this could be why.) If your bedroom needs more than cleaning, you may consider asking for sheets, comforters, or pillows in restful colors if someone asks for holiday gift suggestions. Next, look at your lighting. Using lamps instead of overhead lighting can also make the room more inviting, and candles are always romantic. I like softly scented candles, lavender stuffed pillow sachets, or delicate bedding sprays to relax me when I'm wiped out from a difficult day. I also have nice art in the bedroom and a small CD player for relaxing music and meditation.
- In terms of cleaning, a good vacuuming and dusting are essential. This includes bottles and boxes that may be on the chests or bureaus. If you are allergic, you may need to invest in a hepa-filter vacuum cleaner and to wash the pillows and mattress cover. The rest is just about keeping things picked up. Author Kathryn Robyn suggests keeping a basket in the bedroom so that dirty clothes go in it instead of the floor. If you're going to wear it again, hang it up. Get a coin bank or a pretty bowl or box if you or a loved one is in the habit of throwing loose change or jewelry on the dresser. Keep the wastebasket emptied, and books in order. You'll soon find you are sleeping and loving better, and that you are more rested when you get up.
Next month: The kitchen and the bathrooms.
Recommended Reading
Hamma, Robert. Landscapes of the Soul: A Spirituality of Place. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1999.
Hilton, Suzan. The Feng Shui of Abundance. New York: Broadway Books, 2001.
Kingston, Karen. Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui. New York: Broadway Books, 1999.
Lambert, Mary. Clearing the Clutter for Good Feng Shui. New York: Barnes and Noble Books, 2001.
Robyn, Kathryn. Spiritual Housecleaning. Oakland : New Harbinger Pub., 2001.
Roberts, Stephanie. Clutter Organizing. 2003. 11 Nov. 2004. http://www.clutter-organizing.com.
